Coming from a small town in West Virginia, you tend to notice the dating world in a different light after traveling from a big city. Not only is the dating scene entirely different than most big cities, you also must deal with being demographically close but yet so far away. How so you ask? Remember that godly awful guy that would eat his dinner with his mouth and fly open (we’ve ALL had those dates.) Excited to grab your morning coffee from the local café, you now deal with the awkwardness of running into THAT guy. Even the “hello” becomes uncomfortable. You MAY have at least 5 people in the café you went to high school with, to witness this uncomfortable scenario. “it’s a small town” takes form into an entirely different definition.
The odds can be against you….
You may be thinking “It’s 2018 and the dating scene is AWFUL as it is. How do I cope?” To clarify, we have ALL had those thoughts. Its hard! Its so hard going through the mundane but trivial world of dating. From crappy men and women, crappy dates, crappy dating sites, long and crappy conversations about exes and how they like there meals prepped (yes that has happened,) I’m here to tell you, it doesn’t HAVE to be CRAPPY!!!
“What do you mean?”
I remember a specific moment in my life. Single, divorced and two kids (which makes it more difficult) and the dates I had been on were AWFUL! What was I doing wrong? WHY am I going on these dates and not connecting with these men? I had to take a step back and re-evaluate my values. I was choosing wrong men because I had the slightest clue as to “my type” was! What did I do? Probably something insanely crazy for such a traditional state. I went on as many dates as possible in 30 days. I kept my options open, going into each date open minded. The men I made connections with, I evaluated “what was it I was attracted to.” It was THE BEST thing I could have done for myself. NOW? I can have a conversation with a man and within the first 5 minutes I know if it would go anywhere. I have a better sense of the TYPE of guy I would want to sit down and get to know.
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!!
You attract what you are. If you’re a couch potato, its less likely you’ll attract a man/woman that is a fitness model. If you’re selfish, it’s less likely you’ll attract caring. Evaluate yourself. Work on YOU. DATE YOURSELF. So often, I take myself out for a movie and dinner with the occasional spa days. I have opted on joining a gym and making the dedication on working on myself. So, evaluate what you can improve on. We all can improve something but if you’re wanting to attract the type, you simply become it.
MATCH THE EFFORT!
You really like this person but, they barely message you. In turn, you message, message, call and then begin to wonder “WTH??” It has happened to ALL of us. Learn to match the effort. If its not meeting up to your standards…. NEXT. Its simple, but complex. “But I really like this person.” Well, maybe those feelings are not mutual. If they’re not matching your effort, then they will waste your time. Your time is valuable to. It may seem blunt, but don’t fall victim just because feelings are there on your end. Value yourself and move on. If the effort is reciprocated, then you know feelings are mutual with out a word being spoke. “If someone lacked decency or respect, they didn’t remain in my world.” Live by that. Respect yourself to remove those that don’t value you!
I had a girlfriend that was an overthinker. She would end up sabotaging these potential great relationships because after the first initial amazing date, her mind would not shut up!!! Key is to stay busy. Have your own schedule that works for you, stay busy and just go with things. Staying busy is crucial to not only your goals and dreams, but it takes the time out of overthinking. Over time you begin to retrain that little annoying voice in your head, to no overthinking.
From the big city and numerous options to small town and limited, I think a huge majority of our dating scene lacks one thing, self love. When you put yourself first, stay busy with your goals, know what you want and what you bring to the table, you’ll begin to meet a different genre of men and women. You begin to meet potential life partners. You cannot create happiness for other people but rather, instill it for yourself. As you begin to re-evaluate yourself, your dating WILL improve as you just improved your overall life. It’s the basic law of attraction we need in our lives.
Tacy is a blogger, influencer, model and mom. “A woman with a mind and a mission.” Follow her in IG: @WV_Tacy